My understanding of who I am and what groups I belong to has changed greatly over the years. I think that I most strongly identify with the LGBTQ community and the values and culture we create. I have two moms and was constantly surrounded by queer people as a child. Due to this upbringing I have a different concept of family than most. My parents had their chosen family and those they were related to. Growing up, my familiarity with people I was related to was quite limited due to their homophobic rejection of my parents. The people that I consider my cousins are people that I have no blood relation to even though I am not adopted. I have a sperm donor and many half-siblings across the country that I have gotten to know over the years. Furthermore, my donor is mixed race and so am I. I am a mostly white passing person however, I was raised by white parents in a largely white community and so when recognized as non-white person often by a person of color I struggle to explain where I come from. I wasn’t able to understand all of these different factors as a young child and began to realize how my definition of family and belonging differed from many of those around me. My position within my family has changed over the years with differing levels of confusion as I grew up and began to comprehend my lack of connection with my blood relatives. Others in my family began to realize this as well, prompting sometimes uncomfortable conversations and comments about what I meant to them. It was confusing for others because I am not adopted, but also not related to the people I am closest with. This tension has made me ponder the importance and significance of claiming one’s history as their own. I’ve learned that shared ancestry is not the most important aspect in building community or connection. With this knowledge I find myself positioned in an odd floating space within my social circles and larger society. My knowledge of my roots comes from stories rather than intimate experience providing me with the ability to relate to one’s desire to control their narrative and presentation to others.